Thursday, 27 April 2017


I have a load of laundry to do and its raining!! Towels in the dryer, duvet cover in the washer, if it clears after lunch I might just get the duvet cover dry on the line.

Reasonable nights sleep, I slept in this morning so DB brought my breakfast. Managed out of bed by 10am, washer is on with the duvet cover in.

Over the holiday we did managed to find a compromise. DB is not going to play as much bowls as he has and we will go out for a day and have an occasional meal out. Holidays have yet to be sorted, but it may well be that we go for short breaks somewhere not too far away. I had thought we might go to the isle of Wight, but he has vetoed that. 

I am concerned about his mental health, he does seem to be getting worse, but until he acknowledges it himself there is nothing I can do except bite my tongue, which means I am going to have a very sore tongue!! There were several occasions whilst we were away when 'things' occurred.

One thing I need to make absolutely clear. I have cared for DB for over 25 years. Anyone who has not lived with him does not know what he is like.....there is never a week goes by but he has some problem which he expects me to solve instantly. I am not God!! When he has been in hospital I have a job on my hands to get him up again, the last time was particularly difficult. I have no choice but to be cruel to be kind. I keep telling him that one of these days he really will be in trouble and I will just ignore him, does not make a scrap of difference. The constant drain resulted in my pacemaker having to be fitted, but his attitude has not changed. So please when you read my blog bear this in mind.  .......Thank you.

If I get another comment like the last vicious one which was uncalled for I will close my blog forthwith and will not open a new one.

I have not had a chance to check the garden, but the clematis on the front fence is right out in bloom. DB says that the wind had blown over plants in the nursery area. I need to get myself sorted and get them in and do some badly needed weeding.

As you can see from the pictures the roots of the geraniums I took the cuttings from last week have started to  put up new growth.

This is one of the cuttings, I think it may have rooted, it has put up a flower bud. I will be taking it off, I want the plant to put on more growth before it flowers.

The drying beans DB sowed before we went away, we may have to pot them on, cannot put them in the ground until the chance of frost has passed, these are climbing beans. The pods are left on the plants to dry, the beans harvested and stored in airtight container.

The orchids in the bathroom and sewing room have, all but one, put up flower spikes. I was watching a programme on TV about global warming, it certainly seems to be the case this year, things are coming on much faster than usual.

DB is bowling this evening, not a match, just a roll up, so we ate at lunchtime, bacon and onion fritatta with salad. I had a couple of pears which were showing signs of 'going off' so cut of the suspect bits and sliced them . We had them with yogurt.

Freezer audit to do, then  menu for May and the shopping list. We are going shopping tomorrow and having fish and chips at Sainsbury, so two nights I do not have to cook. Hooray

Duvet cover almost dried on the line, its on the radiator in the hall now airing off. I need to sort through the laundry basket and put a load in to go out first thing in the morning, fingers crossed it does not rain whilst we are out!!


  1. Please don't leave us again. So enjoy reading your blog. As for DB, make time for yourself. The caregiver often gives out before the patient.

  2. Just delete the culprits Anne!They are particularly unpleasant comments.I've read between the lines,you are a strong and hard working person,you don't answer to them. I admire that you keep on trying to make the best of your life.
    Best wishes
    Ann Marie

  3. Give over we'd miss you ......bleedin men are enough to drive anyone batty

  4. I'm so happy you're back blogging today. Get it off your chest and vent here! It's much better for you than keeping it all in. It's easy for people to pass judgment. None of us live each other's life. I have no doubt that certain elements of your life are exhausting and I think that's true for all of us. Instead of letting troll/s dictate the way YOU want to live your life, just delete the sarky comments and move on. You don't even have to acknowledge those comments OR the trolls any longer. Life is too short. I hope you and DB can figure out a unified way meet your challenges going forward - it's not easy and we're all in the same boat. Best wishes!

  5. Agree with the above comments. We are all here for you.x

  6. I'm glad you're back. Ignore the trolls. Unfortunately they are everywhere - especially on the internet. I read daily but have never commented - it's fun to see how others live. I still work & truly understand how hard it is to keep up.
    JoAnna in Florida USA

  7. Hi Anne
    It's lovely to see you back here and your usual self - I support you with everything you've said above.
    My old Nan always said that you should never judge anyone until you've walked a mile in their shoes and it's true (she also lived a similar life as you with my Grandad) and if you've got nothing good to say then say nothing at all.
    It's a great pity that the person who started it all and the troll who felt brave enough to make its nasty comment 2 weeks ago, don't learn to live by the above 2 sayings.
    It's a shame about your holiday, if I remember right you didn't have the best of weather last year neither and finally I always feel better and more able to cope after I've had a few hours sewing - you work so hard, perhaps a little time spent doing what you're so good at and enjoy would help, in other words, put yourself first for a change and have some 'me' time - whether that's sewing or gardening on a regular basis ......its funny we've never met but I do consider you to be a friend and I hope you realise how many of your readers believe the same xxx

    1. Mrs Hyacinthe Bucket's off again then her 'perfect' husbands called Richard too!!

  8. stick with us please, admire your honesty and you speak for so many of us

  9. I feel for you. I am 71, my husband of over 40 years is 69 and still working. We cared for his father the last two years of his life when it was no loggerheads for him to be alone due to his dementia. I have been seeing signs in husband for over 8 years getting progressively worse. It now looks as if his work is doing everything they can to get him to retire. I don't know how I will manage. His Dad almost drove me loony.

  10. Agree with the others. Soon as you see a nasty comment delete it. Your honest blog is so helpful and I missed you. Glad you are going out for a meal. When I am too tired or just had enough we have something simple, tinned soup, beans on toast.


  11. Don't give one thought to what any nasty troll has to say. When you do it gives them the pleasure of taunting you. Delete automatically and never give it another second of your time. I love reading about your daily life and am amazed at what you and DB get accomplished wherever you live. Enjoy your day!

  12. Anne, as the others have said delete,delete delete.
    Missed you when u were gone. You may have seen a change in your DH when you were away as this happens when you take them out of their home environment.
    Iv worked with dementia for nearly 40yrs.
    My DH had his 1st heart attack when he was 38yrs.
    We just try and make the most of each day....even tho is me doing it all. Lol

  13. Don't stop blogging as this is obviously your release valve. It sounds like you are having a particularly hard time and needed that holiday break and it just didn't work out well. If you are worried about your husband' state of mind, could you not have a talk with someone at your GP's surgery? Is there a practice nurse if you don't wish to speak with a GP? You do have to care for yourself if you are your husband's carer.
    Thank goodness for the gardening, it's such a lovely occupation. Your plants are doing very well. I wish I could garden but I have osteo arthritis and the pain prevents me from getting down on hands and knees to weed and so forth, but husband is very good and does all that kind of thing, plus all the mowing of the grass.
    As others have said, you need to take care of yourself. I would also say that short breaks are often much better than long holidays (not that we've ever had long holidays - living in Torbay we've never felt the need to go away longer than 4 or 5 days as it's so lovely here!) and being on a short break, if a billet isn't up to scratch, or the weather is bad, you don't have long to go before you can return home. We used to go away for short breaks quite often when husband first retired almost 20 years ago, but now we prefer to be at home and have days out as we're tired after about four hours out and about and like to return home about 4 pm and curl up with a cup of a tea and our books which is what we have done today.
    Margaret P

  14. We love you, need your good ideas, creativity, menu thoughts, and even your venting from aggravations and frustrations be they with the weather, DB, or those who have forgotten kindness when posting (to their shame). Yep, delete, delete, delete and fret not.

    Your plant photos are inspiring!

    Hang in there, sweet friend!


  15. I would love to know if you have any special tricks for planting clematis...would love to plant one and have good climbing areas in all directions. Any hints or plant recommendations would be appreciated! You seem to have a green thumb!

  16. You do what you feel is right for you in your current situation. I enjoy reading your writing especially when you give helpful tips and hints about home and garden. Delete the lifestyle guru whose comments are a fine example of passive/agressive interactions and leave yourself somewhere to let off steam. Your own health and sanity are paramount-let those of us who enjoy your company help to keep you safe and well. Catriona

  17. Anne, I am in Paducah and remembering how much fun we had together that year you came here. I might not come again for a variety of reasons and I am so glad we got to do it together. Ana USA


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