Thursday, 29 October 2015


Today did not turn out as expected. I left home just after 9am to go to the Group Leaders Meeting. It went very well and we enjoyed a delicious lunch, there was enough cake left for us to take for the groups afternoon tea.

First time we have had a full group for a while, lots of showing stuff off and people starting new projects, our new lady came too which was nice.

3.20 my phone rang, it was my daughter. She had been rung as our first point of call as DB had collapsed, so I had to pack up and race home. Leaving the ladies in the group to pack up at 4pm.

First responder and also an ambulance at the house, apparently he had passed out, when he came round he crawled to the table where our emergency phone is and called for help. His BP was through the roof, why, I have no idea, so he was taken to LRI. They left at 4pm and knowing what the A & E is like there I did not ring until 6 PM since then I have rung every quarter of an hour trying to get through, no one answering the phone, finally at 7.10 I got an answer, 'he is having tests, ring back at 8pm' crash and down went the phone..........wonderful.

I hope they decide to keep him overnight, I cannot drive into the city in the dark to collect him if they want to send him home.......frustration.

I really feel he is getting to the stage where I cannot leave him, I have to be with him all the while, which will be very restrictive for me and it also means I will have to give up the group, I cannot take him in the car and expect him to sit round for 2 1/2 hours whilst I teach a class and wonder what the heck he is up to. even of he goes for a walk I will be wondering what he is doing and if he is ok. When he had his stroke we tried to get someone to come and sit with him whilst I was out, no chance tried every organisation I was referred to said no, they did not provide that kind of I can see incarceration impending, feeling very low and not sure how I am going to cope.

I may not post for a day or two whilst I get my head round this.


  1. Anne, I think it is fine for Edwin to come with you to a meeting and read while you lead the group. Whether he would cooperate is another issue. Mom was in that situation with Dad for years. She literally ran to the store and ran home. Took her over a year after he passed to slow down and relax. You have my thoughts. Ana us

  2. Oh dear. I am so very sorry. I also agree that it is fine for DB to go with you to the class that you teach and read a book. You might find he actually likes the outing visiting the ladies in your class and surely he would enjoy the cake and tea? Wait and don't make any decisions one way or the other yet.

    The A&E sounds absolutely awful. No one to answer the phone and so rushed off their feet. Not very good for you. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Keep us posted as you are able.

  3. Bless your heart as you deal with this unwelcome health situation of DB's. I agree with Ana that DB can bring a book or two and sit in the room with your quilting group for the duration. Provide him with good lighting and a cuppa, and give it a try before you toss in the towel. Over here, there are adult day care centers where senior citizens can stay daily or for part of a day, as long as prior arrangements are made.

    Bless DB's heart, too, as it's a scary thing to have happen, but at least there's no interior flight of stairs to be an additional hazard for him. Does this mean he cannot drive for a time period?

    Am glad the earlier part of the day went pleasantly and that lunch was yummy and the quilting group was fun - until you got the phone call.

    I cannot imagine why the staff at the ER didn't call your periodically to keep you informed. When I worked ER for 5 years in the late 1970s, we certainly kept families in the loop.

    Wishing you and DB well and hope there's a pill for him to take that will end him passing out. Perhaps he needs a pacemaker, too?

    Big hugs!

  4. I'm so sorry to hear of this. Maybe it won't be as serious as you fear. I see no problem with him coming to the meetings with you. Hopefully you have received an update by this time. Best wishes....Barb

  5. I am very sorry to hear about your DB. It must be quite scary for you and I can appreciate your reluctance to leave him on his own for any length of time but don't be too hasty to quit your group before you have explored all avenues. The bloggers above have made some good points. ............take care and try and rest yourself.

  6. So sorry to hear that the other half isn't feeling too bright - I hope that they can find out what has caused this episode and that you'll still be able to take your group at the U3A - take care of yourself xxx

  7. Hugs Anne

    Hope Edwin is okay. It is very worrying. Please do not give up your group. I know you care very deeply but you each need your individual space as well. Take him to the group and at least he will be in company and not on his own. Hugs to you both. Pattypan xxxx

  8. Just want to say my thoughts and best wishes are with you both. Your mind will be doing cart wheels at the moment, wait until his test results are through and he might just need a tablet. I was returning from college when I heart my hubby was in hospital with a heart attack, like you I decided that I had to give it all up immediately, however, after an anxious few days, new medication etc., and he came to watch my graduation and took all the photos. Chin up, keep well. Love Andie xxx

  9. Sorry to hear about OH. Hope they get him sorted and home soon. Please look after yourself and try and keep your quilt group going, it will save your sanity and give you a much needed break. Hopefully things might not be as bad you fear. Will be praying for you both.

  10. So sorry to hear about your awful day. I tend to agree with the other ladies and suggest DB might go with you to your class. We have a lady at our quilt group who brings her husband, no one minds, as it is a lovely change for our friend. I have lost count how many times we have heard about the war, but heyho!!! Maybe DB should think of slowing down abit, he seems to always be in the garden etc. Look after yourself. Hope for better news tomorrow. X

  11. I am sorry to read this too. I care for my DH and get Carer's Allowance because he gets enough Personal Independance Payment which is for people of working age. I guess that for your husband it would be Attendance Allowance (for over 65's); if he got that (and it sounds likely) you might be able to get Carer's Allowance too. AA isn't means tested, btw. Having done this myself and having helped others with the forms, I find we are all incined to minimise our problems so we don't get the benefit we are entitled to. So getting the CAB, Age UK or similar to help you both fill in the forms is something I strongly suggest. You could then afford to pay someone to stay with your husband while you get a bit of a break. Doing this has saved my sanity and possibly our marriage. Applying for stuff is a strain but worth it in the end if it gives you what you need.

  12. Just seen above posts, yes there is a good chance that hubby could be eligible for attendance allowance, though you would not be eligible for carers allowance as you are a pensioner. The government in their wisdom (ha ha) must think that carers down tools the minute they receive their state pension. By the way help with attendance allowance forms can be got through CAB they were really good when my dad applied they even came out to him. Take care kathy


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